


Hoes Night Out

by Ehey



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, How Do I Tag, M/M, Stray Kids Ensemble - Freeform, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-09-06 07:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ehey/pseuds/Ehey
Summary: Due to unfortunate circumstances Jisung and Felix were bailed on by their respective boyfriends, how else are they gonna spend it if not by having a night out all to theirselves. Or what they like to call a 'Hoes Night Out'





	1. Chapter 1

Chat : Felix & Changbin

Binnie~hyung:  
Yo Lix  
Idk if I can make it today  
I'll update you if i need to cancel  
Hopefully not  
My professor's being an ass rn

You:  
oh shit  
sounds tough lmao  
ofc its ok

Binnie~hyung:  
Ugh i feel like a dick for bailing on you like this  
I'll make it up to you though  
Love ya!

You:  
lmao you better  
love u too

__________

Chat : Jisung & Felix

Homodachi Han:  
YO MY MAN FELIX  
WHERE TF U AT  
M8  
HOLY SHIT YOU DEAD?  
CAN I HAVE YOUR STUFF

You:  
changbin hyung just bailed on me

Homodachi Han:  
HOLY MOTHER MARY  
WHAT  
THE  
FLIPPITY FLOP FLOP  
YO TELL HIM TO SQUARE THE FUCK UP  
RIGHT NOW

You:  
lmao don't kill em yet  
AND DON'T MISS USE MOTHER MARY'S NAME  
YOU VILE CREATURE

Homodachi Han:  
fuck u rite m8  
sowri mary  
u da realest  
BUT SERIOUSLY  
CHANGBIN  
WHAT

You:  
he's oldee than you y'know  
older*

Homodachi Han:  
Don't Know Don't Care  
But srsly hoe why'd he bail?

You:  
said his prof was being a bitch  
or smthing

Homodachi Han:  
OH  
Ain't he one class wif my mans doe?

You:  
oh ya u rite  
try ask ur mans

Homodachi Han:  
On it my bromodachi  
i mean homodachi  
Yes  
Ok

__________

Chat : Minho & Jisung

You:  
Ey yo  
Wassup  
J.One in the house

My Hoe <3:  
Jisung, honey  
I love you and all ( not really but )  
But what the actual fuck

You:  
:'(  
My heart  
It  
Hurt  
How  
Could  
You

My Hoe <3:  
When will you ever text normally

You:  
The  
Day  
When  
You'll  
Love  
Me  
Back

My Hoe<3:  
I'll take that as a never  
But seriously you do remember  
We're dating right?  
Ofc i love you

You:  
My heart  
If fixed now :')  
I LOVE YOU TOO

My Hoe<3:  
Ok so tf do you want

You:  
Can i not text you whenever i please  
Just because i wanna?  
Ok ok  
But  
Heres the thing  
Is your prof being a bitch rn?  
The prof at ur class with Bin-hyung

My Hoe<3:  
Holy shit yeah  
Thanks for reminding  
I gotta cancel on our date  
Because of that  
How'd you know though?

You:  
D:  
fewix told me  
:(((((

My Hoe<3:  
I'm sorry  
Maybe next time?  
My bitch of a prof just moved our project  
deadline to tommorow so i gotta  
n y o o m  
Y'know?

You:  
,,,,,,ok  
:(


	2. Fortnite?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday night plans cancelled? Oh my gawd whatever shall we do? *in a sarcastic manner*

Chat : Felix & Jisung

Platonique Broski:  
sooooo?  
how'd it gooooooo?

You:  
,,,,,,,  
my mans also bailed on me,,,,,,

Platonique Broski:  
holy shit  
KATHERINE ITS NOT WHAT  
YOU THINK

You:  
I WON'T HESITATE BITCH

Platonique Broski:  
*pew pew*  
but did he say why?

You:  
Said prof was being a bitch baby and  
moved their project to tommorow or  
someshit so he gotta go super  
sonic on that thing

Platonique Broski:  
that.was.the.best.summary.ever  
shakespear be quaking

You:  
mmmMMMmMMm

Platonique Broski:  
SO  
since both of us were  
thrown away  
like the pieces of trash  
we are

You:  
?

Platonique Broski:  
fortnite?

You:  
BOI THE LAST TIME WE PLAYED  
FORTNITE WE DIDN'T SLEEP  
FOR 34 HOURS AND OUR BACKS  
HURT LIKE HELL  
WE HAD TO GET OUR NECKS AND BACKS  
SNAPPED.

Platonique Broski:  
you just sent shivers  
down the spines i never knew  
i had by mentioning that

You:  
Bro,,,, you an invertebrate?

Platonique Broski:  
bro you didn't know?

You:  
But i thought i heard ur bones  
cracking last time when  
that doctor snapped our backs

Platonique Broski:  
that was just my heart cracking  
at the sight of you in pain bro

You:  
BRO!

Platonique Broski:  
BRO

You:  
But Really  
Its  
A  
Saturday  
Nighrlt  
And  
We  
Don't  
Have  
Anything  
To  
Do

Platonique Broski:  
Night*  
u illiterate bitch

You:  
My point

Platonique Broski:  
why don't we just hang out with  
hyunjin and seungmin  
or smthg?

You:  
o ye  
Go ask em

Platonique Broski:  
kay m8

__________

Chat : Felix & Hyunjin

You:  
yo yo yo yo yoyogi park

Toothpick Legs:  
Where in the fuck is that?

You:  
ya know

Toothpick Legs:  
I don't?

You:  
kay sounds fair  
nor do i

Toothpick Legs:  
TF

You:  
eyyyy  
no vulgarities  
theres a baby

Toothpick Legs:  
Where?

You:  
right here  
me  
i'm the baby

Toothpick Legs:  
The only baby i see is Jeongin

You:  
you cheating on your mans  
for a prepubescent fuck?

Toothpick Legs:  
What happened to no cursing?  
AND DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING  
CALL JEONGIN THAT  
And nah I might love Jeongin  
but Seungmin's gonna  
feed me to piranhas if i ever  
cheat on him

You:  
you type fast

Toothpick Legs:  
And you type moderate  
i thought you were obsessed  
with fortnite?

You:  
i ain't obsessed  
i'm just enthusiastic about it

Toothpick Legs:  
Sure Jan,

You:  
:(

Toothpick Legs:  
So whats up?

You:  
issa u and minnie going anywhere  
tonite?

Toothpick Legs:  
Well i thought we were gonna chill  
but turns out Minnie bought  
us tickets to some movie

You:  
ugh lucky

Toothpick Legs:  
Why? Ain't you and Changbin-hyung  
goin' on a date today? You guys  
have been hyping it up since  
like,,,,, yesterday?

You:  
yeeee but  
he has a project thats due  
tommorow since his  
bitch of a prof  
suddenly demanded it  
so does minho

Toothpick Legs:  
Wow you type fast when  
ranting about Changbin-hyung  
lmao

You:  
mmmm so des why me and sungie  
have literally nothing to do  
and thought we could  
hang out with you  
but like if you guys wanted  
to do the do  
than we'll leave  
and give some privacy  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Toothpick Legs:  
I'm blocking you

You:  
D:  
so des a no?

Toothpick Legs:  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

You:  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Toothpick Legs:  
Kay byeeee

You:  
))))))D:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yer' boy is back again wif another chapter ya'll ;) oh btw i wrote 'platonic' as 'platonique' on purpose cause why not. He deserves to be fancy.


	3. I Am: Ditched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title literally summarises it all

Chat: Jisung & Felix

You:   
no luck m8

Homodachi Han:  
NANI?!

You:  
Omae wa mou shinderu yo

Homodachi Han:  
k-kisama  
YAMERO TEME

You:  
ok enough weeb time

Homodachi Han:  
You literally named me  
'Homodachi Han' though  
WDYM NO WEEB-ING

You:  
hoe u right  
b-but you are my homodachi  
we're both homos  
and talk about things that are  
literally gayer than the rainbow  
and we're tomodachi!

Homodachi Han:  
HAH!  
gAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

You:  
mate, you are

Homodachi Han:  
,,,,,,,  
low burn m8  
low burn

You:  
so?  
what do you wanna do?  
we stil have nothing to do  
y'know  
we could always play fortnite

Homodachi Han:  
How bout,,,,,  
No.

You:  
danggit  
its worth a shot i guess

Homodachi Han:  
Why don't we hang out with Chan?

You:  
and third-wheel WooChan?  
hell naw i'd rather third-wheel   
hyunjin and seungmin  
anyday.

Homodachi Han:  
hmmMMMMm  
U rite doe

You:  
Jeongin?

Homodachi Han:  
O YA FORGOT ABOUT THAT  
SMOL BEAN

You:  
go ask em

Homodachi Han:  
ROGER THAT BROSKI!

__________

Chat: Jisung & Jeongin

Annoying Ass Squirrel Hyung:  
Heeeeeey Jeongin~

You:  
No.

Annoying Ass Squirrel Hyung:  
You didn't even hear me out  
:(

You:  
No.

Annoying Ass Squirrel Hyung:  
Aw c'mon  
Pleasseee?  
D:

You:  
Noppety   
Nope Nope   
Heard from Hyunjin-hyung  
and his hoe

Annoying Ass Squirrel Hyung:  
LMAO I'M SCREENSHOTTING THIS  
'AND HIS HOE'

You:  
Tenks  
K' g'day Sir  
*tips fedora*

Annoying Ass Squirrel Hyung:  
HEY  
JEONGIN  
YOO  
JEONGINNN  
DON'T YOU DARE  
JEONGOUT  
AW  
FUCK U  
U FUCKIN  
PIPSQUEAK  
dhwuhesjsisokd  
:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a new fanfic! An actual proper one! Not a chat fic! Go go~ try read it~ 'I think we'd look cute together, don't you?' Same ships as this one but it mostly focuses on MinSung!


	4. Ot9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeeeee BoIiiIiIiI

Chat : Jisung & Felix

Homodachi Han:  
Jeongin is a literal bitch baby  
remind me to never buy him  
boba again

You:  
boi  
when’d you ever buy him  
flippin boba

Homodachi Han:  
I,,,,,have?

You:  
u literally have 0.69 cents  
EH  
u know what that means  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Homodachi Han:  
I dOn’t HaVE enOuGh moNeY FoR cHIcken NugGEts  
:’(

You:  
indubitably.

Homodachi Han:  
D:

You:  
:(

Homodachi Han:  
Ok

You:  
ok so?

Homodachi Han:  
Do you just wanna like  
idk hangout  
both of us   
together   
or somethimg

You:  
meh  
sure i’m down  
ey   
did’cha realise   
we have group chat  
with all 9 of us

Homodachi Han:  
OH SHIT U RITE  
I FORGOT  
sis been dead for a while now

You:  
ikr

__________

Chat : Hoes and More Hoes (9 people)

I’m Baby:  
And that’s the story of how  
I avoided detention

Mother Teresa:  
Wait you didn’t even tell us  
how you got detention 

I’m Baby:  
Woojinnie hyung~  
That’s not important~

J.One:  
EYYYYY YO

Feel~ix:  
EYYY EYYYY YO

I’m Baby:  
And I’m out  
The annoying ones are here

J.One:  
Shut your prepubescent mouth Jeongin  
before I yeet your dumb baby butt  
outta here

Minnie UwU:  
I hear someone threatening my baby

Mother Teresa:  
Excuse me  
He is my baby

Minnie UwU:  
Kay mom

Feel~ix:  
anywhoooooo  
who wants to hang with us  
tonite   
CAUSE @Not~Dark and @True Hoe  
DECIDED TO BAIL ON ME   
AND SUNG

Not~Dark:  
I have been summoned

True Hoe:  
Same

J.One:  
MiNhOooOoo

True Hoe:  
?  
where’s the hyung you  
disrespectful brat 

J.One:  
NVM fuck u

I’m Baby:  
He already does

True Hoe:  
He rite

Mother Teresa:  
JEONGIN

I’m Baby:  
wOoPs  
Gotta n y o o m  
See Ya

Minnie UwU:  
lmao

Not~Dark:  
Thought you were ok with it  
Lix

Feel~ix:  
eh  
changed my mind  
:(  
i mean ya

Not~Dark:  
Lix.

Jinnie OwO:  
o ShIT  
he added the period  
SHIT BOUTA GET REAL FELICIA

Minnie UwU:  
Where did you come from?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being M.I.A for awhile
> 
> O AnD bE PreParEd FoR sLIghT aNsT yA’LlLl

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction i made on AO3! Hope ya'll enjoy! I'mma attempt to make it as meme-y and crack-y as I possibly can~! ( BTW this fic has multiple chapters so look out for that, its just that i have no clue on how to make the chapter '1/?' like that i alredy ticked that the chapter will have mulitple chapters though D: )


End file.
